I awoke this morning to a surprising email, a young girl whom I do not know was asking me for advice for her future. As you can imagine, this was both humbling and really, really scary.
I thought I'd share my response.
Hey A,
Thanks for writing.
:)
I feel rather passionate about this subject and you sound as if you are at the exact place I was when I graduated university. We're told the world is our oyster, that we can do anything we want to do, but the reality of that can actually feel so daunting.
I was so open to doing ANYTHING. I just wanted to do The Right Thing.
I wanted to make God happy and change the world if I could along the way.
I will share a few of my own experiences and perhaps somewhere along the edges of these stories, you will find pieces of the answers you are seeking.
Since I was very, very little I have always wanted to change the world. I remember walking through the winding roads to my childhood home, strategizing about how I was going to get cans of food to the homeless masses of New York City. (Perhaps I was a strange child.) But that desire-to make a difference, to care-has never left me. It has, however, often left me feeling paralyzed, like I didn't know where to start or how to begin. Until this very simple revelation:
You can only be who you are, with all your heart, every single day.
God will use that.
Maybe your life will look like this big amazing story, or maybe it will look simple. Either way, as long as you love God and invite Him in to the everyday moments, He'll speak, direct and use you.
During the semester I was nearing graduation, I was deathly afraid of making the wrong decision about my future. I so wanted to honour God with my life and I was terrified I would take a path that wasn't The One He had for me.
One afternoon in the middle of that season, my all-time favourite professor looked at me in a moment that, in retrospect I like to imagine was out of the blue, and simply said, "You're young; you can't make mistakes."
Let's not talk about the intricate theology behind this, let's just look at the bigger picture, which is simply this: it's going to be okay. You will make mistakes. The end. And the beginning. Those trying times are the moments you will inevitably look back upon and later realize are the very imperfections which made your life what it is.
It's not about the destination; it's about the journey. And God is always bigger than our messiness.
I grew up in a church that was excessively narrow-minded; the idea of me going away to another city to work or live was frowned upon. I had internships and opportunities during university that I turned down at the advice of my pastor who told me I would probably go wild if I was left to my own devices out there in that big, scary world.
Finally leaving that advice by the wayside-advice from someone I dearly loved and respected-was the best thing I did.
Never let fear lead you.
There is wisdom in many counsellors but sometimes you need to listen to your own heart to know the correct path for you, even if everyone around you is screaming that you are wrong.
I was once at a crossroads, with an opportunity in front of me to lead a team around the world for 2 years, doing missions and photography. It was all I'd dreamed of and more. But it was a huge commitment, terrifying and so much bigger than me. My friend's dad looked at me and asked "Why not?" and those two words have changed the course of my life. For when I honestly asked them of myself, I could only say, "There is no reason NOT to {except doubts and fears of course}" and those two years and the friendships that came out of them have been some of my richest yet.
So now when faced with even difficult decisions, I give myself an honest look in the mirror and ask Why not?
You will only grow if you do things that are bigger than you.
So I don't know you, but I think it's great that you're going to Ireland. I hope your adventures there stay with you for a lifetime; in fact, I know they will. I hope you explore more of the world and meet people everywhere with different beliefs than you. I hope you fall down a time or two, because that means you are taking risks and I know you will be stronger when you next arise. I hope for a thousand beautiful things for you and hope you'll write to tell me your tales.
Thanks for listening.
L
p.s. One last thing: write and keep writing. You only think you want to be a writer until you actually do it and keep doing it and keep on still and then on some more. I will be looking for your name on many publications.
xo.
Little Laynie...almost a decade and about 30 countries ago. Yes, security guards often laugh at me, though the last one told me the photo doesn't do me justice.